How Exercise Saved Me…From Me

June 29, 2017

Nothing truly shows where you’ve come from than a before and after photo.


Nothing can motivate you more than seeing a reminder of where you were versus where you are now.


Nothing will show you that you’re on the right track more than when you were on no track at all…or at least not a positive one.


The photo that does that for me is this one (below). Snapped by another guest, here I was perched on a step, stuffing my face at a friends’ birthday. Can you imagine what went through my head when I was tagged in this photo on Facebook.


Well I’ll tell you. And it’s not what you might think. I simply thought, Oh my god, I look so unhappy! My eyes are sad, my smile is forced, my shoulders are slumped…everything screamed desperately unhappy. This photo was my turning point of realisation that I needed to change my life.


Funnily enough, people meet me now and think I’ve probably always loved working out and being active and getting around in lyrca..well the short answer is NO! In fact, I spent my entire 20s being largely sedentary (apart from an occasional mixed netty game), drinking too much, eating without a clue and crash dieting my way up and down the scales. But it wasn’t until I had kids that things really got out of hand.


On my relatively small 163cm stature, after having my two kids I ended up tipping the scales at around 115kgs! This photo is right around that time.


Now losing the 30 odd kilos of weight and ending up as a PT and gym owner is a whole different, and much longer story that I can share another day.


The point of this post is to say that just 11 months ago, I felt like I was back to being the ‘Before Photo Girl’. Not as large but definitely unhappy with my body. Why? Because I’d stopped exercising, pregnancy had once again changed my body and I had all new jiggly bits that I’d forgotten all about.


The worst part was that I knew I had done it all before…could I really do it again?


Fast forward to today, and I’m actually posting a brand new before and after photo.


But don’t ask me how much I weigh…I couldn’t tell you because I really don’t give a shit.


But, you can however ask me if I recently PB’d my favourite lift…SURE DID!


Or ask me if I’m smashing my cardio goals…YEP!


Oh, and definitely ask me if I work out most days…THAT’S A HELL YES!


This transformation photo is about so much more than weight loss.


It’s about happiness. And how exercise saved me from the depths of my unhappiness.


Better than any drug you pop the cap on, exercise fuels me. It challenges me to be better. Gives me the desire to push through the stupid thoughts my brain decides to throw at me. It rescues me from menacing and unforgiving bouts of anxiety. It feeds me with wonderful, amazing, life changing endorphins that I swear I DO NOT KNOW how I lived without them.


Being fit and strong is a gift and it is one that I’m relishing in. It comes out when I’m motivating my Pretty Fit Girls to push through their training sessions. It makes me happy when I can make someone else feel what I feel when I exercise.


And no, this is not about weight loss. It’s about confidence, ease of movement, feeling powerful and capable. It is a whole lot harder to feel shit about yourself when you have just conquered a workout, built up a sweat or woken up with aching muscles reminding you just how awesome it is that your body kicked ass!



The other day I found my first post after I had Indie (shown here), 11 months ago. I had done a little workout in the park with the kids. I remember that I friggin thought I would die during this workout and EVERYTHING felt heavy, weird, and weak. I even posted how much I missed being fit! I could have thrown in the towel at about that time. I mean who I was going to be…the UNFIT OVERWEIGHT PT?


Yeah it bothered me, but I stuck it out and used my knowledge to train myself at home (not easy to do).


I did this until I felt confident enough to step back into a CrossFit Box. Oh, and didn’t I pick the right Box, CrossFit Calder. It was a place where I knew a few faces from my formerly fit days, but not too many that it irreparably crushed my ego. My Coach knew I was delicately on the comeback trail and didn’t push too hard. Everyone was friendly and welcoming, and I could just quietly work my way back to being ME.


Scaling WODs, lifting lighter, trusting the process…hell, just turning up! I started to see results. I was getting strong again, I was keeping up and soon enough I was doing the workouts RX (as prescribed)!


It’s working! It was actually bloody working!


There’s still so much more to come, but the journey is the best bit people! I have no plans to ever get off this track, as I’ve been down the other road and it ain’t pleasant.


CrossFit has awakened me, and that's my story but if there’s anything you get out of this post, please let it be this…exercise has saved me and it can be your saviour too, in any form.


Just get out there and move!


Thanks for reading xo



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